Deathclaw Steak

Deathclaw Steak is one of the finest delicacies of The Majove. Known for it's hardy taste, and smooth, gritty, slimy texture. Deathclaw Stake is sure to get your guests heads turning! Now come along and let's cook some Deathclaw Steak together!

Note: Deathclaw Steak, is only for experienced survivors out there! If improperly prepared you may experience the following:

1. neurosis of the stomach, mouth, tongue, esophagus, and intestines
2. peeing raditated blood
3. insanity
4. ghoulification
5. An arm growing out of your stomach
6. a very slow, agonzing death from acute radiation sickness

If cooking for multiple people adjust the ingredients accordingly.

Ingredients

• 1 lb of fresh Deathclaw meat
• 2 tbs of Banana Yucca fruit
• 3 tbs of Nevada Agave fruit
• 4 tsp of salt
• 1 cup of Pinyon Nut Oil
• 1 tbs of freshly ground Jalapeño Pepper
• mortar and pestle
• 2 tbs of Maize
• 2 tsp of Oregano
• 2 tbs of Onion
• 1 tsp of radioactive material

Note: The radioactive material gives the steak it's elusive and highly sought after flavor and sensation of a pulsating mouth and jaw (best part about consuming Deathclaw steak!!!)

Instructions

1. Bring the Pinyon Nut oil to a simmer on pan.
2. chop up the Yucca, and Agave, and mix together with seasonings in bowl.
3. grind up radioactive material with mortar and pestle until fine.
4. massage radioactive material into meat, be sure it is all absorbed.
5. place Deathclaw meat into pan, cover with lid, cook approximately for 2 and a half hours.
6. After 2 and a half hours mix together fruit and seasonings, cover with lid for another 30 minutes.

And Walah! You got the perfect Deathclaw steak! Now you can show off to all your friends and hope they don't stick a knife in your back due to extreme hunger and overall destituteness from living in such an inhospitable hellscape! Thank you, nuclear fallout! Sit back, and enjoy your steak, you've earned it after all the hell you went through just to acquire the damn meat!

selentine is a big fat dyke! but shes also bi so don't get it twisted bitch.